i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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