this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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