Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
