I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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