i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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