somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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