planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
