The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I think i got beer on your cat.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize