as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
