just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
