I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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