Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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