The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
