I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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