Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
