oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
