do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize