they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
