Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
