Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
