Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
