great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
