...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
