I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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