You can't special order awesome
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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