She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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