addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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