i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize