Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
