i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
