apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
