Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
she woke up with a sticky ear
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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