i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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