I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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