He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize