I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize