Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
