And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you traded sex for a burrito?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
