whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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