Can Purell be used as lube?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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