Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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