He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
