Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
