dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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