do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Having a random hookup so left but love u
he told me I talked like a deaf person
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
