I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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