I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
did i walk over a car last night?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
