OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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