I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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