There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
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