drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
