literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize