Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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