I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
