if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
