I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
