I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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