You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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