His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Randomize
