you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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